Heaven’s kiss

Next time I harass myself with cares, I will remember the bright days I usually wake up to, the dread of commute which I do not have to experience because workplace is just a stone’s throw away, the son who has improved so much since being diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder, the beautiful places I have been to such as this field of sunflowers which took my breath away….

You will leave this place feeling like you have been blown a kiss from heaven.

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Scripture & a Snapshot @ Katie Lloyd Photography

More than a medal

Dear fellow Mommies:

You wouldn’t be seeing any photos on my post today. This no-visuals effect is deliberate. There is something in my son CJ’s case that needs to be addressed more urgently than his K2 medal.  Just as importantly, I know you can read and I will appreciate it if you take a moment to read some info:

Pervasive developmental disorder (PDD) is characterized by delays in the development of socialization and communication skills. Symptoms may include problems with using and understanding language; difficulty relating to people, objects, and events; unusual play with toys and other objects; difficulty with changes in routine or familiar surroundings, and repetitive body movements or behavior patterns. Children with PDD vary widely in abilities, intelligence, and behaviors. Some children do not speak at all, others speak in limited phrases or conversations, and some have relatively normal language development. Repetitive play skills and limited social skills are generally evident. NIMH

The phrases I highlighted are issues evident in CJ’s development. The first clinical impression did not differ at all from results of my own research – selective mutism. CJ’s developmental pediatrician wrote the exact same words on the clinical report. This year the new diagnosis, PDD tagged new recommendations to see a psychologist, a speech therapist and an occupational therapist.

Remember that purple ATM card featured on my post for the purple theme we had two weeks ago? Now you know the color was just coincidence and it was not  flaunted for vanity. Financing a child’s developmental issues is the purpose of that card I wish I never had to be involved with.  But I am trying to be brave here as I am doing this alone.

So do I ask, “why me, why my son, God?” or “why is CJ’s Dad NOT willing to pitch in?” Nope. My question is “Dear God, what am I supposed to do next?”

And God in His infinite capacity to be cool answers me before I could even send the next funds for CJ’s therapy sessions. My mother sent a long text on CJ’s progress:

-on a niece’s cooing baby, CJ observes, “She smiles.”
-pointing at an altar in a clothes shop, “Jesus is over there.”
-response to his Lola’s “where is Jesus?,” “There on the wall.”
-last night before falling asleep, “I want to ride a halicopter. Mommy will sleep here?”

Each day brings a new hope, new anticipation and a new resolve to learn continually and improve.  Thanks for reading. I welcome your thoughts.

Purple rules

Preference for purple is a mark of old age – I read that somewhere.  The MM theme this week is no coincidence that my fave color is purple.   I am all bias making this post; I can risk associations with old. We are all getting there anyway.

Don’t even ask me what’s purple among my possessions. You will be bored to purple tears. Oh, and did I say I wanted to turn my dresser into an altar dedicated to purple? 🙂 Serious.

This driver was a darling when I played at Wilding two weeks ago. Purple rules.

It’s not obvious but one hit on this bay reached almost 150, courtesy of the hue.  Perhaps the next shot shows my island holiday paraphernalia in clear purple now –

And this is where I funnel funds for CJ’s speech and psychological therapy sessions, not to mention Mozart’s (my poodle) allowance.  Quite draining.  I am bleeding purple to be honest.  But being an Inatay (Ina + Tatay) is not something one can’t survive.  Add purple to that status and life is perfect!

Chris hosts Mommy Moments at The Mommy Journey.

A lemonade

“A time to look over our week, recall blessings great and small and pick our five favorites to share”

Visit Susanne at Living to Tell the Story for more.

People face issues in different ways. This is how I tried to make a lemonade out of my recent lemons –

1. CJ’s psychologist. Communicating with her was cracking a bit of the iceberg. She’s good. It’s a relief to know what’s going on and to learn about this whole new world I am in.

2. Eagles concert. It was fantastic going down memory lane and getting back ten years younger.

3. Wilding golf. The place is state of the art, the finest in the city. It wasn’t so bad revisiting a perk of that once-married life.

4. Los Cabos. I fancied Mexican cuisine; missed eating beans and avocado.  It’s fun not to be disappointed. I went twice with friends.

5. Antiques. Browsing time is always a high for me. It takes my mind off troubles. I am coping.

It’s been a busy week sorting out things. I am finding it difficult to say much right now. However, I want to let my Friday’s Fave Five lady friends know I am very grateful for your positive responses and kind thoughts the past week, and for saying I am in your prayers.

Hearts and books

“A time to look over our week, recall blessings great and small and pick our five favorites to share”

Visit Susanne at Living to Tell the Story for more.

1. Support network. CJ’s second clinical impression, which is pervasive developmental disorder bombed me in the skull recently. As soon as I let friends in on that, moral and emotional boost came pouring in: encouraging thoughts left on Facebook, private messages that tell me these friends care, online chats and phone calls lessened the weight. The fact that CJ’s dad refuses to have anything to do with all this doesn’t have to make this all miserable. I take comfort in being reminded that

“When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.”

2. Little, lovely surprises on Hearts’ Day. J, who has been gone for two weeks due to connection issues managed to come back online exactly on VD, greeted me, and disappeared into the blue again. I thought ‘what was that?…’  Re-focusing, I hurried my nostrils into work. But surviving the day turned out not so bad after all. I could take bittersweet. These landed on my desk –

Cupid was nice to me. He sent not arrows but this –

Oh to be young again! I had to put some cynicism on hold while witnessing students smooching in front of me. And yes, I had a go at giggling and letting love thrill me albeit inconspicuously.

3. Jacquie Lawson e-card from Thom. Beautiful and classy are twins. I love such perfect combination.

4. Buying books. Put me inside a book shop or any place filled with books and I am a happy, content soul. There was hot mocha on the mug I was holding while spending gratifying moments admiring shelves of books in Dasa. I did promise not to buy books until I sort out shipping problems but I broke that promise and I was happy to do so.

5. Reading. This week I’m lost in Lazarus Vault – 12th century knight adventures interspersed with an impoverished grad student’s job in modern day London. What a relaxing escape and how I relate!